Medicine — most viewed jokes

Interns think of God, residents pray to God, doctors talk to God, nurses ARE God!

How do you tell the difference between the psychiatrists and the patients at the mental hospital?
→ The patients are the ones that eventually get better and go home!

"Did you get your money?" ask the wife of the dentist who had just return from the delinquent patient's home.
"Not a cent," growled the dentist, "and worse than that, he insulted me, and gnashed my teeth at me!"

- I'm suffering from bad breath

- You should do something about it!

- I did. I just sent my wife to the dentist.

- Have you ever had this before?

- Yes.

- Well, you've got it again.

- How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat?

- Cut your head off!

Which painter always had a very bad cold?
→ Vincent Van Cough

- Dentist begging the patient: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?

- Patient: Why? Doc, it isn't all that bad this time.

- Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don't want to miss the 4 o'clock ball game.

This old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor tells him, "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?"

- Well, give me the bad news first.

- You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.

- OH NO! That's awful! In two years, my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this???

- You also have Alzheimer's... In three months you'll forget everything I told you.

- Look here, doc! You've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this place!

- I am, bit by bit!