Kids Jokes — most viewed jokes

My sister is so dim she thinks that a cartoon is a song you sing in a car.

- Sonny: I can't sleep. What should I do?

- Counselor: Lie near the edge of the bed. That way you'll be sure to drop off!

- Monster: I'm so ugly.

- Ghost: It's not that bad!

- Monster: It is! When my grandfather was born they passed out cigars. When my father was born they just passed out cigarettes. When I was born they simply passed out.

A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar loudly.

So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle.

As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the front. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was near tears by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said:

- I was just being the Ring Bear!

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs are roaming in the forest when they come across a lake. The water was enticing and Snow White decides to take a bath. So she tells the Dwarfs to turn around while she is taking a bath in the lake.

The Dwarfs protest vehemently because they want to take a bath too.

Snow White relents and says:

- When I get into the water and you hear the splash, you can turn around.

Snow White undresses and as she is about to jump into water, at that very moment, she is startled by a frog who jumps into water before she can.

The moment the Dwarfs hear the SPLASH, they turn around and see Snow White standing NAKED.

Now, given that this incident is an idea for a TV ad, what product is being advertised?

Scroll down for the answer.??????????????????

Come on now, this should be easy for a person of your mental powers!?????????????????????

The product being advertised is...???????????????????

SEVEN UP!

Why did the vampire enjoy ballroom dancing?
→ He could really get into the vaultz.

A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride, as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end...

- And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail, Amen. - she prayed.

Betty was scribbling industriously over some paper with a pencil when her mother asked her what she was drawing.

- I'm not drawing, Mom - she said indignantly:

- I'm writing a letter to Fred.

- But you can't write - Mom pointed out.

- That's all right - said Betty:

- Fred can't read.

Tim once took his small cousin with him while he went fishing: When he returned, he was looking very fed up.

- I'll never do that again - he complained to his Dad.

- Did she frighten off the fish? - enquired Dad.

- No - replied Tim.

- She sat on the bank and ate all my maggots.

Why did the girl sit on her watch?
→ She wanted to be on time.