Kids Jokes — most viewed jokes

What happened to the cold jellyfish?
→ It set!

Why was Raggedy Anne kicked out of the toypen?
→ Because she kept sitting on Pinnochio's face saying, "Lie to me, lie to me!"

- Knock, knock.

- Who's there?

- Dwayne.

- Dwayne who?

- DWAYNE THE TUB! I'M DWOWNING!

At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother." Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your real father a big hug."

A skunk family had two little skunks they called In and Out. One day little In disappeared. Mother Skunk, Father Skunk and young Out spent hours looking for him, getting more worried all the time.

In the end the parents went home to have a cup of tea, but Out said he'd continue searching for a while.

Half an hour later he returned home, with a tired In following behind him.

'However did you find him?' asked Father Skunk.

'In-stinct,' replied Out.

What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
→ A teddy boar!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Bridie

- Bridie who?

- Bridie light of the silvery moon!

A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, "Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these."

The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped.

"I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It's something your mommy probably calls your daddy all the time."

Instantly, one of the kids coughed his onto the floor and shouted, "Spit 'em out, they're assholes!"

My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes. I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long.

"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."

I overheard a woman in a computer store say to the sales assistant "I want a game capable of holding the interest of my six-year-old, but it's got to be simple enough for his father to play, too."