Kids Jokes — most viewed jokes

What do you get if you cross a skunk and a cartoon penguin?
→ Pingu-Pong!

What gas do snails prefer?
→ Shell.

- Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters?

- No change yet.

How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?
→ He prawned everything!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- B-2

- B-2 who?

- B-2 school on time!

On day there was a boy at school. He needed to go to the toilet. The teacher said "Say your ABCs first"

The boy started saying "A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z"

The teacher asked at the end "Where is your P?"

The boy answered "Running down my pants!!"

Little Johnny's dad is sitting on the side of the bed rolling on a condom about to give his girlfriend some.

Little Johnny sticks his head in the door, sees his dad and says, "Whatcha doin' daddy?"

Johnny's dad stoops over to cover-up his dick and starts looking at the floor. "Oh I'm just looking for this big rat I saw." he says. Little Johnny says, "Whatcha gonna do, fuck it?"

One day at the end of class little Billy's teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story, little Suzy raises her hand.

"My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."

The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Suzy replies, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."

Next is little Lucy. "Well my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched."

The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Lucy replies "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched."

Last is little Billy. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war; his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down he drank the case of beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands."

Teacher looks in shock at Billy and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story.

Billy replies, "Don't fuck with uncle Ted when he's been drinking!"

What did the ghost eat at his birthday party?
→ I scream

What is the most famous shark?
→ William Sharkspeare!