Kids Jokes — most viewed jokes

What's red and blue and sogs up your Easter basket?
→ Coloured scrambled eggs

If your child asks how Santa Claus gets into the house, just tell him he comes in through a large hole in daddy's wallet.

Mother calls up stairs, "You boys better get down here and eat your breakfast or you'll be late for school!"

As they are ambling down, the 5-year-old turns to the 4-year-old, stops and says, "Today we're gonna learn to swear!" The 4-year-old gives a fearful look.

The 5-year-old continues, "When we get to the table, I'll say 'hell' and you say 'ass'!" The 4-year-old agrees with reservation.

They seat themselves at the table. Mother greets them. "Good morning boys! What would you like for breakfast?"

The 5-year-old leans back and cocks his head... "Hell Mom! I'll have Cheerios!"

He is promptly escorted to another room while the 4-year-old seated at the table grimaces upon hearing the wailing cries of big brother getting a serious licking.

Mother returns with sniffling 5-year-old. She turns to 4-year-old and says compassionately, "Well now, what would you like for breakfast?"

The 4-year-old replies, "I don't know ma... But you can bet your ass it ain't Cheerios!"

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms.

"Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.

The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.

"Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked.

Little Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded...

"Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"

How do snowmen read their e-mails?
→ With an icy-stare!

What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark?
→ Frost bite!

What is a mouse's favourite game?
→ Hide and squeak!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Beggar

- Beggar who?

- Beggar you don't know!

Steve wrote home. 'I'm glad you named me Steve,' he said in the letter.
'Why?' asked his mother in her reply.
'Because that's what all the kids at camp call me,' he wrote back.

What is a child's favourite type of Halloween candy?
→ Lots a candy.