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Where Is God

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually.

So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly:

- Where is God?

They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed.

So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone:

- Where is God?

Again the boy made no attempt to answer.

So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed:

- WHERE IS GOD!?

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked:

- What happened?

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied:

- We are in BIG trouble this time, dude... God is missing--and they think WE did it!

Susie Walking the Dog

A little girl asks her Mom:

- May I take the dog for a walk around the block?

Mom says:

- No honey, the dog is in heat.

- What's that mean? - asked the child.

- Go ask your Father. I think he's in the garage.

The little girl goes to the garage and says:

- Dad, can I take Susie for a walk around the block? I asked Mom but she said the dog was in heat and said I should ask you

Her Dad said:

- Bring Susie over here

He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's rear end with it and said:

- Ok, you can go now but keep Susie on the leash and only go one time around the block.

The little girl leaves and returns a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.

Her Dad asks:

- Where's Susie?

The girl replies:

- Susie ran out of gas about halfway down the block -and there's another dog pushing her home!