Gender Jokes — most viewed jokes

Bob, who's gay, decides to go out for a good time and ends up at a gay bar. There he meets an attractive young man named Johnny who he talks to all evening.

When the night comes to an end Johnny invites him over to his place.

They get in Johnny's car, a pink stretch Cadillac, and proceed to leave the parking lot. Yet Bob is quite concerned when Johnny repeatedly smashes into parked cars as they are leaving the lot. Once they reach Johnny's place, again Johnny looks around and proceeds to smash into parked cars as he's parking his.

As they got out of the car Johnny asked, "So Bob, do you like my feminine side?"

What is the first symptom of AIDS?
→ A hard, deep, pounding sensation in your ass.

More gay banter...

Four men got together at a reunion. All of them had sons and they starteddiscussing them.

The first man said his son was doing so well, he now owneda factory, manufacturing furniture. Why, just the other day he gave hisbest friend a whole house full of brand new furniture.

The second man said his son was doing just as well.

He was a manager at a car sales firm. Why, just the other day he gave his best friend a Ferrari.

The third man said his was doing well too.

He was a manager at a bank.

Why,just the other day he gave his best friend a the money to buy a house.

The fourth man just shook his head. He said his son was gay and hadn't amounted to much.

But he must be doing something right because,just the other day he was given a house, furniture and a Ferrari by his friends!

If Men Were to Rewrite "The Rules"

1. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.
2. If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.
3. It is in neither your best interest nor ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.
4. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done -- not both.
5. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials or time-outs.
6. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.
7. When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the ramp, you saying "This is our exit" is not necessary.

Chase is very pleased to announce that we are installing new Drive-thru ATMs where customers will be able withdraw cash without leaving their vehicle. (Other accounts can also utilise this facility) Male and Female procedures have been tailored to best reflect the behaviors of those particular groupings.

PROCEDURE FOR MALE CUSTOMERS:

1. Drive up to the ATM
2. Open the car window
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN
4. Enter amount of cash required and press "enter"
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6. Close window
7. Drive away

PROCEDURE FOR FEMALE CUSTOMERS:

1. Drive up to the ATM
2. Reverse back the required distance to align car with ATM
3. Re-start stalled engine
4. Open the car window
5. Find handbag, empty all contents onto the passenger seat and locate card
6. Turn radio down
7. Attempt to insert card into ATM
8. Open car door to allow easier access to ATM due to excessive distance between car and ATM
9. Insert card
10. Re-insert card the right way up
11. Ignore the sound of car horn from vehicle behind
12. Search contents of handbag (on passenger seat) to locate diary with PIN written on the inside back page under "Date of Birth"
13. Enter PIN
14. Press "cancel" and re-enter PIN
15. Enter amount of cash required and check make-up in rearview mirror
16. Drum fingertips on steering wheel for one minute, then look at ATM and press "enter"
17. Retrieve cash and receipt
18. Search contents of handbag (on passenger seat) to locate purse and place cash inside
19. Place receipt in back of cheque book
20. Re-check make-up
21. Drive forward two metres
22. Reverse back to ATM ignoring the sound of car horn from vehicle behind
23. Retrieve card
24. Search contents of handbag (on passenger seat) to locate card holder and place card in an empty slot
25. Drive two or three kilometres
26. Release hand brake

What is the difference between a blonde and a brunette?
→ Well about 15 minutes!

DOUBLE VODKA A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodka." The barman says "Wow! you must have had one really bad day." "Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay." The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!" On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said "WOW! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?" "Yeah, my wife..."

In the beginning, God created earth and rested.

Then God created man and rested.

Then God created woman.

Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

There is 2 fags walking down the beach. They are holding hands andkicking the sand with their feet. One happens to kick a lamp that islying buried in the sand. He pick it up and starts to clean it off.

All of a sudden a Genie comes out of the lamp.

Genie, " Man, I don't believe it. I have stuck in that bottle for 2thousand years and the first person to come along and find me is afag. I am suppose to give you 3 wishes but I just can't do it. I won'teven give you 2. I will give you one wish and that is it. What will itbe."

The 2 fags are excited about getting their wish but couldn't come upwith what they wanted to wish for on such short notice.

Fag1 says," Could you give us just a little time to think about it? Imean one wish we need a little time."

The Genie looks down and says, "Alright you can take as long as youwant but I am not going to stay here until you come up with it. I justcan't stand the sight of you two. Whenever youmake me your mind justwish for it and it will done."

At that moment the Genie grabs his bottle and flys off into the sky.

Well the two fags decide that they will go back to the motel room anddecide on what they will wish for. Once they got back their emotionstook over and they starting doing all that fag stuff. Right as they were getting into it, the door of their room gets busteddown and 6 men in white sheets come in. They grab the fags and throw arope around their necks. Fag1 looks at Fag2 and says, " You know this might be a good time useour wish."

Fag2 says, "I already made it."

Fag1 " What the hell did you wish for?"

Fag2 " Well, I wish that we were hung like two niggers."

How do u get 4 gay men to sit on 1 stoll?
→ you turn it over!