Food Jokes — most viewed jokes

Sign seen in a small restaurant:

Thanks for visiting. If you liked the food, send your friends. Otherwise, send your mother-in-law.

Eulus stood in front of the take-out window of a Rawl-ins fast food restaurant. "I want two hamburgers," he said. "One with onions, and one without."

The counter man: "Okay. Which one's without the onions?"

What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them?
→ Mice Krispies!

What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a dog?
→ A hen that lays pooched eggs.

What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat?
→ Almond Joy candy bar

A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall: $500 If we fail to fill your order!

When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant nuts on rye. She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen where all hell breaks loose!

The restaurant owner comes storming out of the kitchen. He runs up to the customer's table, slaps five $100 bills down on it and says, "You got me this time buddy, but I want you to know that's the first time in ten years we've been out of rye bread!"

Why don't blondes eat bananas?
→ They can't find the zipper.
→ They cant find the pull tab.

Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
→ From eating with forks.

Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant?
→ He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.

What is a hamburger's favourite story?
→ Hansel and Gristle!