Random joke from this category
There was this old guy wandering around in a supermarket calling out at intervals - "Crisco? Crisco? CRIS--CO!!!!"
Finally a store clerk approached.
"Sir, the Crisco is on aisle five."
"Oh," replied the old guy, "I'm not looking for Crisco, I'm calling my wife."
"Your wife is named "Crisco?"
"Nah," he answered, "I only call her that when we come to the supermarket."
"Oh? What do you call her when you are not in the supermarket?"
"Lard Ass!"
What's yellow and writes?
→ A ball-point banana.
Why don't whales eat sushi very often?
→ Of course whales like sushi. It's just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth.
What do you call a masterbating bull?
→ Beef strokin'off.
What is long and yellow and always points north?
→ A magnetic banana.
Well-known lodging chain announced it was creating a line of no-frills hotels. The only way you'll see a chocolate on the pillow now is if the last guest was eating an M&M.
A German tourist walks into a McDonald's in New York City and orders a beer. (In Germany and many parts of Europe, McDonald's actually does serve beer.) The local guy in the line behind him immediately gives him the jab: "They don't serve BEER here, you MORON!" The German fellow felt pretty stupid, but suddenly turns to the New Yorker with a surprised look, and begins to chuckle.
"And what's so funny?!?" the New Yorker demands.
"Oh, nothing really, I just realized that you came here for the food."
When does a hamburger wear a look like a smile button?
→ When somebody says, 'Well done'!
- Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup!
- Then we've served you too much soup, the fly should be wading
What's the difference between a worm and an apple?
→ Have you ever tried worm pie?!
