Food Jokes — most viewed jokes

- Waiter, there is a fly in my bean soup!

- Don't worry sir I'll fish him out and exchange it for a bean!

- Waiter, is there soup on the menu?

- No, madam I wiped it off!

How do you make gold soup?
→ Put 14 carrots in it.

- Waiter! Have you got frogs' legs?

- No, sir, I always walk this way

An American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day of sightseeing. While sipping his sangria, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"

The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bulls testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!"

The American, though momentarily daunted, said, "What the hell, I'm on vacation! Bring me an order!"

The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy!"

The next morning, the American returned, placed his order, and then that evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.
After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!"

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si senor. Sometimes the bull wins."

Why did the banana go out with the prune?
→ Because he couldn't find a date.

- Waiter, waiter, do you have frog's legs?

- Certainly, Sir!

- Well hop over here and get me a sandwich!

What is a vampire's favourite soup?
→ Scream of mushroom!

This little old lady walks into an ice cream parlor and asks for 2 scoops of chocolate ice cream. The man behind the counter says 'I'm sorry, we are all out of chocolate ice cream'.

The lady says 'OK, I'll take one scoop of chocolate ice cream in a cup.'

The man says 'Ma-am, we are all out of chocolate'.

The little old lady says 'OK, then I'll have a single scoop of chocolate in a cone'.

The man, a little more irritated this time says 'Ok, lady. Spell van as in vanilla'.

The lady says V A N

The man says, 'OK, spell straw as in strawberry'.

The lady says S T R A W.

The man says, 'OK, now spell fuck as in chocolate'.

The lady says there ain't no fuck in chocolate.

The man says, 'Lady, that's what I've been trying to tell you all along!'

- Waiter, there is a worm on my plate!

- That's not a worm sir, it's your sausage?