Food Jokes — most viewed jokes

- Waiter, I can't eat this meal.

- Why not? It looks all right to me.

- I don't have a fork.

What is slimy and wobbly, tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas?
→ A red jellyfish.

How many waiters does it take to change a light bulb?
→ None, a burned out bulb can't catch a waiter's eye.

- Waiter, I can't eat this meat, it's crawling with maggots!

- Quick, run to the other end of the table and grab it as it goes by!

- Waiter, there's a fly in my custard!

- I'll fetch him a spoon sir!

What did the impatient waiter ask the gluttonous aardvark?
→ Is that your final ant, sir!

A guy goes into a supermarket and buys:

• one tin of beans
• one bag of chips
• one pack of burgers
• one tub of ice cream
• one cake
• one case of beer
• one pint of milk.

He takes them over to the checkout, and the girl looks at what he has bought and asks if he is single.

The guy replies sarcastically, "Yes. However did you guess?"

The girl replies: "Simple...

You are one ugly bastard!"

- Sir you haven't touched your custard.

- I'm just waiting for the fly to stop using it as a trampoline!

- Why doesn't this restaurant have any specials?

- Because nothing about this food is special.

- This fish isn't as good as what I ordered here last month.

- That's funny. It's from the same fish.