Food Jokes — most viewed jokes

What do you get when you cut a banana in two?
→ A BANANA SPLIT!

It's a bummer to be an egg because...

1. You only get laid once.
2. You only get eaten once.
3. It takes 7 minutes to get hard.
4. You have to come in a box with 11 others.
5. The only one who'll sit on your face is your mother.

A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. She responded, "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

- Why is this sandwich half eaten?

- I didn't have time to finish it.

Two men were in a restaurant and ordered fish. The waiter brought a dish with two fish, one larger than the other. One of the men said to the other, "Please help yourself." The other one said "Okay", and helped himself to the larger fish. After a tense silence, the first one said, "really, now, if you had offered me the first choice, I would have taken the smaller fish!" The other one replied, "What are you complaining for; you have it, don't you?"

This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his home town for the holidays.

After looking over the menu he says, "I'll just have the eggs benedict." His order comes a while later and it's served on a huge fancy chrome plate.

He asks the waiter, "What's with the fancy plate?"

The waiter replies, "There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!"

- Waiter, there is a frog in my soup!

- Don't worry sir there isn't enough there to drown him!

- Waiter, waiter, there's a hand in my soup.

- That's not your soup, sir, that's your finger bowl.

What does a witch enjoy cooking most?
→ Gnomelettes.

- There's something wrong with my hot dogs.

- Sorry, I'm a waiter, not a veterinarian.