Random joke from this category
The Zen Master is visiting New York City from Tibet. He goes up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."
The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen Master, who pays with a $20 bill.
The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it. "Where's my change?" asks the Zen Master. The vendor responds, "Change must come from within."
Can you name two burgers who are royalty?
→ Sir Loin and Burger King!
A homosexual walked into a delicatessen and asked the shopkeeper for a large knob of salami.
"Would you like it sliced, sir?" the shopkeeper asked politely.
"What do you think I am?" replied the fag, "...a money box!"
What do you call a vegetarian with diahrrea?
→ A salad shooter.
A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.
"Are you crazy" yelled the customer, "sticking your thumb in my steak?!"
"What" answers the waiter, "You want it to fall on the floor again?"
What is the meaning of life?
→ All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate.
The three survivors of the shipwreck were being driven mad by hunger.
The Irishman, an expert navigator, told the others that if they could row the lifeboat for three more days they could make landfall.
The Pole, the ship's doctor, said that they could not possibly last that long, that there was only one solution to the problem and that one of them would have to sacrifice themselves for the good of the others.
The Englishman, the captain, said that he quite understood and that he would volunteer as he should have gone down with the ship anyway.
After saying an emotional farewell to his crewmen, the captain jumped overboard and sank without trace.
One of the life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.
How did the Burger King get the Dairy Queen pregnant?
→ He forgot to wrap his whopper.
The following is a direct quote from the Center for Strategic and International Studies report on GLOBAL ORGANIZED CRIME.
FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite. The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza parlor with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues. The following telephone conversation took place and was recorded by the FBI because they were taping all conversations at the hospital.
- Agent: Hello. I would like to order 19 large pizzas and 67 cans of soda.
- Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered?
- Agent: We're over at the psychiatric hospital.
- Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital?
- Agent: That's right. I'm an FBI agent.
- Pizza Man: You're an FBI agent?
- Agent: That's correct. Just about everybody here is.
- Pizza Man: And you're at the psychiatric hospital?
- Agent: That's correct. And make sure you don't go through the front doors. We have them locked. You will have to go around to the back to the service entrance to deliver the pizzas.
- Pizza Man: And you say you're all FBI agents?
- Agent: That's right. How soon can you have them here?
- Pizza Man: And everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent?
- Agent: That's right. We've been here all day and we're starving.
- Pizza Man: How are you going to pay for all of this?
- Agent: I have my checkbook right here.
- Pizza Man: And you're all FBI agents?
- Agent: That's right. Everyone here is an FBI agent. Can you remember to bring the pizzas and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front doors locked.
- Pizza Man: I don't think so.
click
