Food Jokes — most viewed jokes

How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
→ Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.

A stuffy matron is with a new man in a top restaurant. The onion soup gets to her, and as the waiter is serving the main dishes she lets loose a bombastic fart. Trying to save face, she says to the waiter: "Sir! Please stop that immediately."

"Certainly, madame," replies the waiter with a bow, "which way was it headed?"

Can a hamburger marry a hot dog?
→ Only if they have a very frank relationship!

George W. Bush walks into a restaurant in Washington DC with his wife Laura. The waiter approaches the table and asks for his order. "I'll have your biggest, juiciest London Broil," answers the President. "But sir, what about the mad cow?!!" asks the waiter. "Oh," answers Dubya, "she'll order for herself."

Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch.

As they read the menu, the waitress comes over and asks Clinton, "Are you ready to order?" Clinton replies, "Yes, I'd like a quickie!"

"A quickie?!?" the waitress replies. "Sir, given the past situation of your personal life I don't think that is a good idea. I'll come back when you are ready to order from the menu!" She walks away.

Gore leans over to Clinton and says, "It's pronounced Quiche."

What's brown and crispy on the outside, and white and creamy on the inside?
→ A cockroach.

A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger.

The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "ONE BURGER!"

The cook, who's even bigger, screams, "BUR-GER!"

Whereupon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and tosses it on the grill.

The old lady says, "That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen!"

The counterman says, "Yeah? You should be here in the morning when he makes the doughnuts!"

Do they really serve burgers in Transylvania?
→ Very rare-ly.

Do hamburgers make good vampires?
→ No, because they always find themselves in ghoulash situations!

A worldwide survey has been carried out with the following question: "PLEASE, GIVE US YOUR OPINION ON THE LACK OF FOOD IN THE REST OF THE WORLD"

No result was achieved, since the following problems were faced during the survey's implementation:

1. In Western Europe no one knew what is "lack"
2. In Africa no one knew what is "food"
3. In Eastern Europe no one knew what is "opinion"
4. In South America no one knew what is "please"
5. In the USA no one knew what is "rest of the world"