Festival Jokes — most viewed jokes

A boy went to a Halloween party with a sheet over his head.
'Are you here as a ghost?' asked his friends.
'No, I'm an undercover agent.'

How does the Easter Bunny paint all of those eggs?
→ He hires Santa's elves during the off-season.

What did the burglar give his wife for her birthday?
→ A stole.

How do zombies celebrate Halloween?
→ They paint the town dead!

A Toledo man was admitted to the city hospital last night with severe burns after dunking for French fries at a Halloween party.

Don't look out of the window, Betty, people will think it's Halloween.

Why was the monster sitting in his Easter basket?
→ He was trying to hatch his peanut butter eggs!

What would you get if you crossed a skunk with a type of Easter candy?
→ Smelly beans!

One Halloween this woman opens her door to find the most adorable little girl, with golden blond curly hair and the biggest blue eyes.

She was dressed as an Angel, and was just delightful. The woman said, "what are you supposed to say sweetheart?"
The little girl looks up at the woman and says "Twick or Tweat!"

The woman thinks this is just adorable, and she calls her husband to come to the door. The woman say to the child, "Go ahead honey say it just one more time."

Once again the little Angel looks up and says, "Twick or Tweat!"

The husband agrees with his wife, this little Angel is just the cutest thing. The woman picks an apple from the Treat Bowl, shines it up with her apron, and drops it into the little girl's Treat Bag.

The little Angel looks in her bag then looks up at the woman and says, "Thanks a lot lady, you just broke my f**king cookies!"

Who is the Easter Bunny's favourite movie actor?
→ Rabbit De Niro!