Ethnic — most viewed jokes

A man was on his first business trip to Japan, and he decided to check out the local Whore House. He walked in and was assigned a young girl with a body that got him "up" immediately. As soon as they reached the room, he started ripping her clothes off and going to town.

Moaning and grunting, the girl was screaming in Japanese, "Wasukima! Wasukima!" He was sure that she was praising him for his good job, so he kept going harder than ever.

Later, he went golfing with his boss and a few clients.

As the clients were Japanese, he decided to impress them with his new knowledge of their language. When one of them got a hole in one, he raised his arms and shouted "Wasukima!".

All of the men looked at him quizzically, and one of them asked, "Why are you shouting 'wrong hole'?"

Why wasn't Christ born in Poland?
→ Because they couldn't find three wisemen and a virgin!

Why did the Polak put ice in his condom?
→ To keep the swelling down.

How do you get a one-armed nufie out of a tree?
→ Wave!

How do you get a two-armed nufie out of a tree?
→ Wave both hands!

How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?
→ They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving!

In Heaven:

• The cooks are French
• The policemen are English
• The mechanics are German
• The lovers are Italian
• The bankers are Swiss

In Hell:

• The cooks are English
• The policemen are German
• The mechanics are French
• The lovers are Swiss
• The bankers are Italian

In Computer Heaven:

• The management is from Intel
• The design and construction is done by Apple
• The marketing is done by Microsoft
• IBM provides the support
• Gateway determines the pricing

In Computer Hell:

• The management is from Apple
• Microsoft does design and construction
• IBM handles the marketing
• The support is from Gateway
• Intel sets the price

In Heaven:
The cooks are French, The policemen are English, The mechanics are German, The lovers are Italian, The bankers are Swiss.

In Hell:
The cooks are English, The policemen are German, The mechanics are French, The lovers are Swiss, The bankers are Italian.

Have you seen the polish mine detector.
→ Put you fingers in your ears and start stamping the ground with your foot.

This Polak came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I am home!"

What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife.

Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun and put it to his head. His wife started laughing.

"Don't laugh!" he screams. "You're next!"

An airplane was losing altitude over the Rocky Mountains. The pilot over the intercom said that the entire luggage needed to be thrown overboard if they were to survive.

After all the luggage was thrown the plane was still going down so they asked for volunteers. A man from Paris went to the door and said, "Viva la France." Next a preacher went to the door and said, "Lord forgive me for what I must do." Finally a rich Texas cattle rancher said, "Well guess I got to do my part," and he grabbed two Mexicans and tossed them out and yelled, "Remember the Alamo!"