Ethnic — most viewed jokes

Public service announcements around the world.

USA: "It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your children are?"
Italy: "It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your husband is?"
France: "It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your wife is?"
Poland: "It's ten o'clock. Do you know what time it is?"

Three men were all applying for the same job as a detective. One was Polish, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. Rather than ask the standard questions during the interview, the chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer.

When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked, "Who killed Jesus Christ?"

The Jewish man answered without hesitation "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left.

When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the same question. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man who then left.

When the Polish man arrived for his interview, he was asked the exact same question. He thought for a long time, before saying, "Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tommorrow."

When the Polish man arrived home, his wife asked "How did the interview go?" He replied, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder!"

Did you hear about the tragedy in Poland? In Poland's largest shopping mall, there was a terrible power outage. People were stuck on the escalators for 4 hours.

Did you hear about the Polish family that froze to death outside a theater?

They were waiting to see the movie "Closed for the Winter."

A German tourist walks into a McDonald's in New York City and orders a beer. (In Germany and many parts of Europe, McDonald's actually does serve beer.) The local guy in the line behind him immediately gives him the jab: "They don't serve BEER here, you MORON!" The German fellow felt pretty stupid, but suddenly turns to the New Yorker with a surprised look, and begins to chuckle.

"And what's so funny?!?" the New Yorker demands.

"Oh, nothing really, I just realized that you came here for the food."

What do you call an Arab dairy farmer?
→ A milk sheik.

Striking up a conversation with the attractive woman seated beside him on a coast-to-coast flight, a would-be Romeo asked, "What kind of man are you attracted to?"

"I've always been drawn to Native American men," she replied. "They're in harmony with nature."

"I see," said the man, nodding.

"But, then, I really go for Jewish men who put women on a pedestal, and I can rarely resist the way Southern gentlemen treat their ladies with respect."

"Please allow me to introduce myself," said the man. "My name is Tecumseh Goldstein, but all my friends call me Bubba."

Have you heard about the new Iraqi Air Force exercise program?
→ Each morning you raise your hands above your head and leave them there.

What do you call an Inibrian who has been buried for 1000 years?
→ Peat!!!

One day the Lone Ranger and his companion Tonto were walking through the desert when Tonto suddenly stopped, bent down to the ground and said, "Buffalo Come!"

And the Lone Ranger said, "How do you know Tonto?"

Tonto replied, "Ear stuck to ground..."