Dumb Jokes — most viewed jokes

What do they call a bunch of Mississippi football players standing in a circle holding hands?
→ A dope ring.

Why don't Purdue athletes eat pickles?
→ They can't get their heads in the jar.

Why did the nutty kid throw a glass of water out of the window?
→ He wanted to see a waterfall.

- Professor: I forgot to take my umbrella this morning.

- Wife: When did you first miss it, dear?

- Professor: When I reached up to close it after the rain had stopped.

Three students from Michigan State, the University of Kentucky and Texas A & M on summer vacation in France were caught smuggling cocaine and sentenced to death by guillotine. The judge turned to the boy from Michigan and asked, "Do you have any final words, son?"

"Yeah, drop dead!" snapped the Wolverine.

Hearing this, the judge signaled for the sentence to be carried out.

The executioner pulled the lever, and as the crowd gaped in astonishment, the giant blade came to a screeching halt three inches from the victim's throat.

"It's God's will! Let him go!" cried the judge.

Next the fella from U. of Kentucky was put on the block, and the judge asked again, "And what are your final remarks, my boy?"

"Go to hell!" shouted the student, and the judge signaled. The razor-sharp blade fell and miraculously stopped just a quarter inch from the condemned boy's neck. "It's the will of God!" exclaimed the judge. "Set him free!"

Finally the Texan was put into position. "Before you're beheaded," said the judge, "do you have any last words?"

"Yeh!" replied the Aggie. "If y'all will just put a little more grease on them grooves, the blade'll come down a whole lot easier!"

- Professor: A wise man doubts everything. Only a pin-head is positive.

- Student: Are you sure of that, sir?

- Professor: Positive.

Why did the Oregon State psychology major climb up the chain link fence?
→ To see what was on the other side.

What do you get when you cross a Texas Aggie with an ape?
→ A retarded ape.

Why does Clinton always have a stupid grin on his face?
→ He is stupid!

A silly boy spent the afternoon with some friends, but when the time came for him to leave, a terrific storm started with thunder, lightning and torrential rain.
'You can't go home in this,' said one of his friends, 'you'd better stay the night.'
'That's very kind of you,' said the boy. 'I'll just run home and get my pyjamas.'