Dumb Jokes — most viewed jokes

Did you hear someone has invented a coffin that just covers the head?
→ It's for people like you who're dead from the neck up!

How can you tell if a California State coed is a good cook?
→ She can get the pop tart out of the toaster in one piece.

What is the second stupidest thing in the world?
→ An Arkansas architectural student out in the middle of the ocean trying to build a foundation for a house.

What is the stupidest thing in the world?
→ An Arkansas contractor trying to build a house on the foundation.

Did you hear about the Louisiana Tech professor who stood in front of a mirror for two hours, wondering where he'd seen himself before?

A Mississippi professor was at a party and became indignant when asked if college professors were absent-minded.

"Professors haven't got bad memories," he declared. "They're not absent-minded. Don't you think I know where I am right now, and don't you think tomorrow I'll know where I was last night? Would somebody like to ask me another question?"

"Yes," said another guest. "Is it true that professors are absent-minded and have bad memories?"

"Good!" said the professor. "I knew sooner or later somebody would ask me that question."

A police officer was escorting a prisoner to jail when his hat blew off.

"Shall I run and get it for you?" asked the prisoner obligingly.

"You must think I'm daft," said the officer.

"You stand here and I'll get it."

How can you tell a Minnesota hockey fan?
→ Ask him what color the blue line is and wait. It may take him ten minutes to answer.

How does a New York University psychology major turn on his lights in the morning?
→ By opening the car door.

How many Wake Forest fraternity brothers does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
→ Seventeen. One to do it and sixteen to shell the M&M's.

Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer?
→ He wanted her to hit the hay!