Dumb Jokes — most viewed jokes

- Operator, operator, call me an ambulance!!!

- Okay, sir, you're an ambulance!

Two small time thieves had been sent by the Big Boss to steal a van load of goods from a bathroom suppliers. One stayed in the van as look out and the other went into the storeroom. Fifteen minutes went by, then half an hour, then an hour, and no sign of him. The look out finally grew impatient and went to look for his partner. Inside the store the two came face to face. "Where have you been?" demanded the worried look out. "The boss told me to take a bath, but I couldn't find the soap and a towel."

Why did the nutty kid throw butter out of the window?
→ He wanted to see a butterfly.

Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat?
→ To the calf-ateria!

- Did you hear? Lament's gettin' a Ph.D.

- What does Ph.D. stand for?

- in his case, Pin-headed Dope.

Why did the stupid racing car driver make ten pit stops during the Grand Prix?
→ He was asking for directions.

What kind of a car does a crazy man drive?
→ A LOCOmotive.

And then there was the Newfie who was found dead in his jail cell with twelve bumps on his head. He'd tried to hang himself with a rubber band.

Two Kentucky psychology majors were walking through the campus.

- Do you consider a 144 I.Q. high?

- Yes!

- For the whole basketball team?

Dilmer, six-foot-three, two hundred eighty pounds, was thrown from his seat when the Southern Railway train he was riding derailed.

The giant teenager flew a dozen feet through the air before hitting headfirst against a steel partition. For a moment Dilmer lay dazed, rubbing his head. The conductor came by and kneeled down beside him.

"Don't move!" said the conductor. "We've called an ambulance."

"Naw," said the boy, getting to his feet. "I ain't hurt so bad. That steel wall musta broke my fall!"