Dumb Jokes — most viewed jokes

Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering?
→ The noise gave her a headache.

- Patient: Doctor, you've got to help me. Every night I get the uncontrollable urge to go downstairs and stick my dick into the biscuit tin. Do you know what's wrong with me?

- Doctor: Yes... You're fucking crackers!

- Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a curtain.

- Psychiatrist: Pull yourself together!

Why did the idiot have his sundial floodlit?
→ So he could tell the time at night!

Did you hear about the stupid Kamikaze pilot?
He flew 57 missions!

Did you hear about the dimwit who went to visit his girlfriend and found she didn't have very much on?

He went back nine months later and she had a little moron.

- Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dustbin.

- Psychiatrist: Don't talk such rubbish!

How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid?
→ When the other tenors notice.

Commissioned by a zoo to bring them some baboons, the big game hunter devised a novel scheme to trap them - his only requirements being a sack, a gun, and a particularly vicious and bad tempered dog. Once in the jungle he explained to his assistant, "I'll climb this tree and shake the branches; if there are any baboons up there, they will fall to the ground - and the dogs will bite their tail and immobilise them so that you can pick them up quite safely and put them in the sack." "But what do I need the gun for?" asked the assisant. "If I should fall out of the tree by mistake, shoot the dog."

Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.