Dumb Jokes — most viewed jokes

• We hear you are a lady killer. They take one look at you and die of fright!!
• We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, "Do not come home and all will be forgiven".
• You have a good family tree, but the crop is a failure.
• I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.
• Is your name Amazon? You're so wide at the mouth.
• You are a man who always sticks by his convictions. You will remain a fool no matter how much you get ridiculed for it!
• A dope you are and dope will remain. Completely unlike cocaine. You add to, not diminish, pain!
• We know that you would go to the end of the world for us. But would you stay there?
• Your family tree is good, but you are the sap.
• We all spring from apes, but you didn't spring far enough.
• It cost me five thousand dollars to look up your family history. A thousand to look it up and four thousand to hush it up.
• Lets play house. You be the door and I'll slam you.

At a lesson in topography a soldier was asked: "What is farther away, Harrison, the moon or that object on this map?"
"That object, naturally."
"What makes you think that?"
"'Cause we can see the moon any clear night, and we can't see that object even at day time."

- Say, your house is burning.

- That's okay. I got enough lumber in the attic to build a new one.

My friend is so stupid:

• He sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
• He thought a quarterback was a refund.
• He tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
• He thought General Motors was in the army.
• He thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
• He tripped over a cordless phone.
• Wrote "Taurus" where it said "sign here."
• He thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.

Why did the stupid boy wear a turtle neck sweater?
→ To hide his flea collar.

What did the stupid ghost do?
→ He used to climb over walls.

Three blondes are stranded on an island.
A fairy comes along and says that she will grant each person a wish.
So the first blonde says she wants to be really smart so she digs and finds a cell phone and calls the Army.
The second blonde says that she wants to be even smarter so she finds a flair and sets it off.
The third blonde says that she wants to be even smarter than both of them, so the fairy changes her hair color to black and she says, "Let's go over the bridge."

Once there was the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, Easter bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde they were walking down the road when they saw a $100 dollars bill who gets it??
→ No one the first four dont exsist and the other blonde thought it was a gumwraper!

Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.