Random joke from this category
A blonde comes home from a day of shopping and discovers that her house is on fire, so she calls the fire department on her cell phone.
- Please state the nature of your emergency.
- Help! My house is on fire!
- Okay, where do you live?
- In a house you silly billy!
- No,no! How do we get there?
- Duh! Big Red Truck!!
- Teacher: That's the stupidest boy in the whole school.
- Mother: That's my son.
- Teacher: Oh! I'm so sorry.
- Mother: You're sorry?
An idiotic laborer was told by an equally idiotic foreman to dig a hole in the road. "And what shall I do with the earth, sir?" asked the laborer. "Don't be daft, man," he replied. "Just dig another hole and bury it."
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
The head doctors in an insane asylum had a meeting and decided that one of their patients was potentially well.
So they decide to test him and take him to the movies. When they get to the movie theater, there are signs of wet paint pointing to the benches. The doctors just sit down, but the patient puts a newspaper down first and then sits down. The doctors get all excited cause they think maybe he's in touch with reality now. So they ask him, "Why did you put the newspaper down first?" He answers, "So I'd be higher and have a better view."
What do stupid kids do at Halloween?
→ They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins!
Did you hear about the hillbilly who asked his friends to give him their burnt-out light bulbs. He wanted to start a dark room.
Did you hear about the stupid photographer?
He saved burned out lightbulbs for use in his darkroom.
Why do cannibals make suitcases out of people's heads?
→ Because they're headcases!
Melburn was strolling along downtown Natchez with a framed picture under his arm. "Hey, what yew got there?" asked a neighbor. "I dunno much 'bout art," replied Melburn, "but Ah just bought me an original Michelangelo for two hundred dollars! It's one of the few he ever did in ballpoint!"
