Guest
Bad Teeth
- Doctor, Doctor I've got bad teeth, foul breath and smelly feet.
- Sounds like you've got Foot and Mouth disease!
Doctor Jokes — most viewed jokes
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Random joke from this category
Guest
Painting Myself Gold
- Doctor, Doctor I keep painting myself gold
- Don't worry it's just a gilt complex!
Guest
Redneck Doctor
How can you determine that a death certificate was filled by a redneck doctor?
→ He signs "his" name under "cause of death!"
Becoming a Communist
A man goes to the doctor for a checkup. After the checkup, the doctor tells the man he has bad news. "You only have six months to live."
The man sits for a while thinking, and then says, "There's only one thing I can do, I'm going to become a Communist."
The doctor asks, "You've been a patriotic American all your life, why are you going to become a Communist now?"
The man says, "Better one of them should die than one of us!"
Guest
Got a Match
A man walked into a psychiatrist's office, sat down, took out a pack of cigarettes. He removed a cigarette from the pack, unrolled it, and stuffed the tobacco up his nose.
The shrink frowned and said, "I see you need my help!"
The guy said, "Yeah Doc. Got a match!?"
Twice A Week
When they arrived at the therapist's office, the therapist jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion. "What seems to be the problem?" Immediately, the husband held his long face down without anything to say. On the other hand, the wife began talking 90 miles and hour describing all the wrongs within their marriage.
After 5 - - 10 - - 15 minutes of listening to the wife, the therapist went over to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for several minutes, and sat her back down. Afterwards, the wife sat there - speechless.
He looked over at the husband who was staring in disbelief at what had happened. The therapist spoke to the husband, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!"
The husband scratched his head and replied, "I can have her here on Tuesdays and Thursdays."
Guest
Nobody Understands Me
- Doctor, doctor, nobody understands me.
- What do you mean by that?
Guest
Needle Patient
- Doctor, Doctor I feel like a needle.
- I see your point!
- Tell me straight Doc, Is it bad?
- Well, I wouldn't start watching any new soap operas!
Guest
Rubber Band
- Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a rubber band
- Why don't you stretch yourself out on the couch there and tell me all about it!
Medical Collective Nouns
- An acher of bacteriologists
- A murmur of cardiologists
- A stain of cytotechnologists
- A rash of dermatologists
- A speck of forensic pathologists
- A poke of gynecologists
- A vessel of heart surgeons
- A clot of hematologists
- A nursery of obstetricians
- A dose of pharmacists
- A pile of proctologists
- A G-spot of sex therapists
- A stream of urologists