Dirty Jokes — most viewed jokes

A new American ambassador was being entertained by an African diplomat.

They'd spent the day discussing what the country had received from the Russians before the new government kicked them out.

- The Russians built us a power plant, a highway, and an airport. Plus, we learned to drink vodka and play Russian roulette.

The American frowned:

- Russian roulette's not a very nice game.

The diplomat smiled:

- That's why we developed African roulette. If you want to have good relations with our country, you'll have to play.

- I'll show you how.

He pushed a buzzer, and a moment later, six magnificently built, nude women were ushered in.

- You can choose any one of those women to give you oral sex - he told the American.

- That's great - the ambassador said - but it doesn't seem much like Russian roulette.

- Oh, it is. One of them is a cannibal.

When the boy started Kindergarten, the teacher asked all the children to give their first name. When she got to the little boy in the second row, he said:

- I'll give you a hint. First it's in your hand, then it's in your mouth, and then it's in your tummy.

The teacher smiled and said:

- OK, Dick, sit down.

Two Texan are sitting in a small town bar, where one bragged to the other: "You know, I had me every woman in this town, except my mother and my sister." "Well," his buddy replied, "between you and me we got 'em all."

A young lady walks into a doctors office. "Doctor I'm suffering from a terrible discharge" The Doctor lays her down lifts up her dress and has a good probe around and says "how does that feel?" Young lady, "Oooh doctor that feels lovely..... ...but the discharge is from my ear!!"

A nun is walking down a deserted road when a man grabs her and starts raping her. After the rapist is done, he says:

- Hey Sister, what are you going to tell the other Sisters now?

- I'll tell them the truth, that you grabbed me, threw me to the ground, and raped me twice....unless you're tired. - she responded.

A husky foreigner, looking for sex, accepted a prostitute's terms. When she undressed, he noticed that she had no pubic hair.

The man shouted:

- What, no wool? In my country all women have wool down there.

The prostitute snapped back:

- What do you want to do, knit or fuck?

Why do Farts stink?
→ So that Deaf people can enjoy them too.

A rather well proportioned young lady, Joan, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of the hotel.

She wore a bathing suit the first day but, on the second, being a naturist, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan.

She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.

- Excuse me, miss - said the flustered little assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs.

- The hotel doesn't mind you sunbathing on the roof but we would very much appreciate you wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday.

- What difference does it make - Joan asked rather calmly.

- No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel.

- Not exactly - said the embarrassed little man.

- You're lying on the dining room skylight.

Have you heard about the new orgasm pill just approved by the FDA for women?

It comes with a 16 inch applicator.

Why do women have arms?
→ Have you any idea how long it would take to LICK a bathroom clean?