Random joke from this category
At a Texas University, a Professor had been teaching his students human reproduction. For an exam, one of the questions was: "Female humans are born with a limited number of eggs, while males, during their lifetime, produce millions upon millions of sperm. Why are so many sperm produced?" One young woman's answer: "Because they won't ask for directions either."
This man got his prescription for Viagra, and goes home to get ready for when his wife gets home. He calls her on the phone, and says:
- I'll be home in an hour.
- Perfect - she replies.
The man thinks her agreement is because the Doctor told him to take his Viagra an hour before. He takes the Viagra and waits. Well, and hour goes by, the man is ready to go, but no wife? She calls him on the phone and she says:
- Traffic is terrible. I won't be there for about an hour and a half.
The man, frustrated, calls his Doctor for advice.
- What should I do? - he asks.
The Doctor replied:
- It would be a shame to waste it. Do you have a housekeeper around?
- Yes - the man replied.
- Well, maybe you can occupy yourself with her instead? - said the Doctor.
The man then replied with dismay:
- But I don't need Viagra with the housekeeper...
The American in Hong Kong was talking to his wife one evening over supper.
- Get this... - he chuckled:
- That ridiculous janitor of ours claims he's made love to every woman in the building except one.
- Hmmmmmmmmm - said his wife, assuming a thoughtful faraway type expression:
- must be that stuck-up Mrs. Stewart on the eighth floor.
The daughter of an Indian chief visits his doctor. She tells the doctor "Big Chief no fart." The doctor tells her to give him three pills a day. The girl comes back the next day and tells the doctor, "Big Chief no fart." The doctor then gets really worried and tells her to give him ten pills an hour. The girl comes back the next day and says, "Big Chief no fart." After hearing this the doctor gets so pissed off that he tells her to give him a jar an hour. The next day the girl comes back crying and says "Big fart no Chief!"
Australia.
Where men are real men
And sheep are scared shitless
And where the term 'Going Down Under' means something entirely different
What's the difference between a transvestite sailor and Monica Lewinsky's wardrobe?
→ When you have a transvestite sailor, you have a dress on a seaman.
What does a woman of 40 have between her breasts that a woman of 20 doesn't?
→ A belly-button!
What do Marriage and a Tornado have in common?
→ Well you start off with a lot of blowing and then sucking, and then next thing you know your house is gone!
When the formal private briefing of the attractive new teacher by the vice-principal was finished, the vice-principal took a few puffs on his pipe and said:
- I have an informal piece of advice for you, Miss Bell. There's only one way you can get along in this school without submitting to the sexual advances of the principal.
- Oh my God! Well, er, what was is that?
- I'll explain it, - he continued, - as soon as you've undressed.
What's the difference between women and men?
→ One has morning sickness, the other has morning stiffness.
