Random joke from this category
A visiting conventioneer from Saskatchewan walked into a bar in Greenwich Village and sat next to a rather attractive woman.
- Hi - he said - I'm new in town. Can I buy you a drink?
- Get lost - she remarked - I am Lesbian.
- Oh, really? - he asked - How are things in Beiruit?
Following some duty overseas, the officers at the Fort were planning a welcome home party and dance for the unit. Being an all male combat force, they decided to request coeds from some of the surrounding colleges to attend.
The Captain called Vassar and was assured by the Dean that arrangements could be made to send over a dozen of their most trustworthy students.
The Captain hesitated, then said:
- Would it also be possible to send a dozen or so of the other kind ?
What is the first symptom of AIDS?
→ A hard, deep, pounding sensation in your ass.
Bob, who's gay, decides to go out for a good time and ends up at a gay bar. There he meets an attractive young man named Johnny who he talks to all evening.
When the night comes to an end Johnny invites him over to his place.
They get in Johnny's car, a pink stretch Cadillac, and proceed to leave the parking lot. Yet Bob is quite concerned when Johnny repeatedly smashes into parked cars as they are leaving the lot. Once they reach Johnny's place, again Johnny looks around and proceeds to smash into parked cars as he's parking his.
As they got out of the car Johnny asked:
- So Bob, do you like my feminine side?
Wife comes home to find the old man humping the dog in the front room. "My God Henry", she screams, "I know you've had other woman but this time you've gone too far!" "You may be right" he says, "I think I'm stuck."
What's the difference between mayonnaise and sperm?
→ Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at 40 mph.
How do Redneck mothers know when their daughters are having their period?
→ Their son's dicks taste funny!
Why did clinton follow the chicken across the road?
→ because, he couldn't get his dick out of its ass.
This young lady, a flighty young thing, got a job cleaning the bank windows in the evening after the bank closed for business. Anyway, she was up this ladder, cleaning good and proper and as she was in the habit of wearing no knickers, every young man who would come along would stop and stare for a second or two. But this evening an old geezer came along and stayed looking.
- What are you looking at - she said.
- I'm looking at the moon - he said.
- Well, if you were here last night, you would have seen a man in it - she said.
A woman who had been married twice and divorced twice was fed up. Her first husband beat her, and her second husband ran away with another woman. Plus, she couldn't find a new lover who could satisfy her sexually, so she put an ad in the classifieds:
Wanted: A good looking, single guy who won't beat me, won't leave me, and is good in bed.
About a week later, her doorbell rings. She opens the door to find a man with no arms and legs on her front porch.
- I'm here about your ad - he says.
- You must be mistaken - she says.
"Let me explain," he says. "I can't beat you, I don't have any arms. And I can't run away because I don't have any legs."
"But," she asks, "How do I know you're good in bed?"
"I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
