The Perfect Candidate

A woman who had been married twice and divorced twice was fed up. Her first husband beat her, and her second husband ran away with another woman. Plus, she couldn't find a new lover who could satisfy her sexually, so she put an ad in the classifieds:

Wanted: A good looking, single guy who won't beat me, won't leave me, and is good in bed.

About a week later, her doorbell rings. She opens the door to find a man with no arms and legs on her front porch.

- I'm here about your ad - he says.

- You must be mistaken - she says.

"Let me explain," he says. "I can't beat you, I don't have any arms. And I can't run away because I don't have any legs."

"But," she asks, "How do I know you're good in bed?"

"I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"