Random joke from this category
It was laying limp in my hand. It was very long, kind of thin. I slid it between my fingers until I got to the end of it. I was turning it on. It became firm in my hands, and the end was wet. Then it got very hard and began gushing out of the tip.
Then I took the garden hose and watered the bushes.
Why don't blondes use vibrators?
→ Because they are scared they might chip their teeth!!!
A Pollock walks over the Red Light District in Amsterdam when suddenly he notices a fine looking hooker looking at him.
He stops, bangs on the window and says, "So, what does this cost ??!!".
And the hooker replies, "25 dollars !!".
And the Pollock said, "Hmm, that's not a lot of money for insulated windows !!".
Three fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock swishing her tail in the foam.
The first man waded out to her and said, "Hello mermaid! Have you ever been kissed?" She replied, "no sir!" So he kissed her quite thoroughly and asked, "Did you like that?" "Oh, indeed I did, sir!" she replied.
The second man went out to her and asked, "Mermaid, have you ever had your breasts fondled?" "No sir," she replied. So he set to and fondled and caressed and then asked, "How did you like that?" She replied, "It was most pleasurable, sir."
The third fellow approached and asked, "Mermaid, have you ever been fucked?" "No sir," she replied. He said, "Well you have been now--the tide's gone out!"
Have you heard about the new Mechanical Whore?
→ She gives a licking and keeps on ticking.
A guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products.
At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud "hiss-pop" noise. "The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold," explains the guide. "The popping sound is the needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple."
Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are manufactured. The machine makes a "Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop" noise. "Wait a minute!" says the man taking the tour. "I understand what the 'hiss, hiss,' is, but what's that 'pop' every so often?"
"Oh, it's just the same as in the baby-bottle nipple machine," says the guide. "It pokes a hole in every fourth condom."
"Well, that can't be good for the condoms!"
"Yeah, but it's great for the baby-bottle nipple business!"
Interesting things about Monica Lewinsky:
Who does she think she is, Microsoft Windows?
Age Line
10 things men know about women:
1:
2:
3:
4:
5:
6:
7:
8:
9:
10: They have tits
Why doesn't Hillary wear short dress?
→ Her balls would show.
