Dirty Jokes — most viewed jokes

What happened to a Brighton Beach prostitute who had an appendectomy performed by a Soviet emigre surgeon?
→ He sewed up the wrong hole, so now she's making money on the side.

Men are like cement.
After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

Why did Bill Clinton cross the road?
→ To meet the chick.

What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
→ When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining.

How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
→ She drops her nail-file!

A sex therapist was doing research at the local college when one of the male volunteers told him, "When I get it in part way, my vision blurs. And when I get it all the way in, I can't see a thing."

"Hmmm...that's an interesting optical reaction to sex," said the researcher. "Would you mind if I had a look at it?"

So the volunteer stuck out his tongue!

Why did your boyfriend return his Christmas tie?
→ He said it was too tight.

I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
→ If we don't get some support soon, people are going to think we're nuts.

Little Johnny came home from school with a note from his teacher saying that Johnny was having trouble telling the difference between boys and girls, and would his mother please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this. So Johnny's mother takes him quietly by the hand upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door.

"First, Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse", she said, so Johnny unbuttons her blouse and takes it off.

"O.K., now take off my skirt", and he takes off her skirt. "Now take off my bra", which he does.

"And now, Johnny, please take off my panties". Johnny finishes removing these too.

His mother then says, "Johnny, please don't wear any of my clothes to school anymore!"