Dirty Jokes — most viewed jokes

How do you get a blonde pregnant?
→ Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.

Two elderly Southern women are sitting on the veranda sipping lemonade and reminiscing about old times.
One says to the other, "Darling, do you remember the minuet?"
The other replies, "Sweetheart, I can't even remember the ones I screwed!"

After an argument with his wife, a man stalked out of the house. He returned a few hours later to find his wife packing a suitcase. He angrily asked her where she was going.

"I'm moving to Las Vegas. I can make $400-500 there doing what I give you for free."

The man thought about this for a moment, then pulled out his own suitcase and began packing. His wife asked where HE was going.

"I'm going to Las Vegas, too. I want to see how you manage to live on $800 a year!"

Did you hear that they are going to stop circumcising men?
→ They discovered they were throwing away the best part.

How does the blond turn on the light after she has had sex?
→ She opens the car door.

Why did god give blonde's 2 more brain cells than he gave cows?
→ So they wouldn't shit all over when you played with their tits.

What is the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
→ One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."

What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?
→ The man.

A little old lady shaking violently as she walks in to the pharmacy asks the salesperson "do you sell vibrators". Surprised by the request, the sales person says yes! The little old lady says: "Well, how do you turn the damn things off!"