Dirty Jokes — most viewed jokes

What does a camera and a condom have in common?
→ They both capture that magic moment.

Here's a sad one...

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle?
→ A dead poodle with an 18 inch asshole.

A blind guy goes into a whore house. A girl takes him upstairs and starts giving him a blowjob.

- Excuse me, aren't you Karen Carlton, and didn't you go to Cardozo High School in Detroit?

- Yes. How'd you know?

- I never forget a face.

How can you compare a lite beer to making love in a canoe?
→ It's fucking close to water!

What's the biggest drawback in the jungle?
→ The Elephants foreskin.

An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The ticket agent asked, "Sir, what's that on your shoulder?"

The old farmer said, "That's my pet rooster Chucky, wherever I go, Chucky goes."

"I'm sorry sir.", said the ticket agent, "We don't allow animals in the theater."

The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed the bird down his pants. He returned to the booth, bought a ticket and entered the theater. He sat down next to two old widows named Mildred and Marge.

The movie started and the rooster began to squirm. The old farmer unzipped his pants so Chucky could stick his head out and watch the movie.

"Marge", whispered Mildred.

"What", said Marge.

"I think this guy next to me is a pervert.", said Mildred.

"What makes you think that", asked Marge.

"He unzipped his pants and he has his thing out", whispered Mildred.

"Well, don't worry about it", said Marge, "At our age we've seen them all."

"I thought so", said Mildred, "But this one is eating my popcorn."

Why don't women blink during foreplay?
→ They don't have time.

Prostitute walks into a bar and asks the bar man for two Bacardi's and coke. Bar man serves her and notices that she drinks one and empties the other one down her panties. Now this happened another three times and the bar man was getting rather curious. The bar man nicely questions her and asks her why she is drinking one Barcardi and coke and throwing the other one down her panties. She replies, "I just won the lottery and that's the only cunt getting a drink out of me tonight!"

What is the last thing each Tickle Me Elmo doll receives before he leaves the factory?
→ Two Test Tickles

What do spaghetti and blondes have in common?
→ They both wiggle when you eat them!