Random joke from this category
One day, Superman was flying across the sky, and he notices Wonderwoman lying asleep, but STARK NAKED on a beach blanket. So.. he decided to go down & get some.
So after he had done the deed, he flew away. Then Wonderwoman got up and said:
- What was THAT?
And the invisible man said:
- I don't know... but my butt sure hurts.
...and the number 1 rejection line given by women (and what it actually means)
In response... The male perspective on the same issue ...
...and the number 1 rejection line given by men (and what it actually means)
How can a woman tell if she is having a super orgasm?
→ Her husband wakes up.
What did the leper say to the hooker?
→ Keep the tip.
Two friends are shopping in a drugstore when one of them tells the other:
- My husband says this brand here is the most effective ointment for hemorrhoids on the market today.
- How does he know this for sure though? - asked the other woman.
- Because besides being my husband who thinks he's always right, he's also an asshole himself.
One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had written the word 'penis' in tiny letters. She turned around, scanned the class looking for the guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased it, and began her class.
The next day she went into the room, and she saw, in larger letters, the word 'penis' again on the black board. Again, she looked around in vain for the culprit, but found none, erased it and then proceeded with the day's lesson.
Every morning, for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same disgusting word written on the board, each day's word, larger than the previous day's word.
Finally, one day, she walked in, expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board, but instead, found the words:
- The more you rub it, the bigger it gets!
A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself:
- I'd give anything to sink this next putt.
A stranger walks up to him and whispers:
- Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?
The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless. At the same time he thinks this might be a good omen, so he says, "Okay," and sinks the putt. Two holes later he mumbles to himself:
- Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole.
The same stranger moves to his side and says:
- Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life?
The golfer shrugs and says, "Sure." He makes an eagle. On the final hole, the golfer needs yet another eagle to win. Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says:
- Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match?
The golfer says, "Certainly!" He makes the eagle.
As the golfer walks to the club house, the stranger walks alongside and says:
- You know, I've really not been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I'm the devil, and from now on you will have no sex life.
- Nice to meet you - says the golfer.
- My name's...
- Father O'Malley!
What do you call a pair of skunks that are 69'ing?
→ OdorEaters!!!
A famous magician had a thundering finish to his act. He would fill a large bowl with shit and proceed to slurp it noisily, to the amazement of his audience.
One night he had just begun the wow finish of his act when he stopped in his tracks.
- Go ahead - said the stage manager:
- Eat the shit, eat the shit!
- I just can't do it - said the magician:
- There's a hair in it!
Two proctologists are discussing their most baffling cases.
One proctologist tells the other one about the time he put his hand into a patient and pulled out a large bouquet of flowers.
The other proctologist looked really amazed and asked:
- Where did those flowers come from?
The other proctologist answered very cooly:
- How should I know. There wasn't any card!!
