Random joke from this category
The barber was finishing a haircut on a customer one day and started to apply some 'Aftershave Lotion' around his ears when the customer yelled:
- Don't put that crap on me! My wife says it smells like a French Whorehouse!
Another customer who was waiting replied:
- Hey John, you can put the 'Aftershave Lotion' on me... My wife has never been in a French Whorehouse!
Then the fun began...
A construction worker was whistling and verbally harassing a young girl as she walked by the construction site.
She completely ignored him, and just kept on walking.
Annoyed the worker yelled:
- Well you're an ugly bitch anyway!
The girl turned around and replied:
- It must be terrible when even an ugly bitch won't give you the time of day?
- Dad, can I ask you something?
- Sure! What about?
- You see, I'm already fourteen and... I think it's just proper that I should own one.
- And what is this 'one' you're referring to?
- Could you buy me a neat set of brassieres?
- No!
- My nipples are already prominent and it catches attention.
- Nope!
- It will be just proper at my age...
- I said no way...!
- But all of my friends wear...
- Timmy! How many times shall I tell you that bras are for girls!?
A girl gets a tattoo of Santa Claus on one thigh and a turkey on the other. She wants to show that there is something good to eat in between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
What do Germans use for birth control?
Their personalities!
What is a man's idea of protected sex?
→ A padded headboard.
Why couldn't the blond pass her drivers test?
→ Every time the car stopped she jumped in the backseat.
What did the boy with a long tongue and big lips say to his mom as he was masturbating?
→ "Look Ma, no hands!"
On the night of a Halloween costume party a couple were having trouble picking suitable outfits. After a while the wife got mad and stormed out of the room. Fifteen minutes later she came back completely naked execpt for a lemon between her legs. The husband looked at her for a moment and then stormed out of the room himself. Twenty minutes passed and then he came back himself with a potato around his dick.
The wife gave him a wierd look and then the husband replied:
- If your going as a sour-puss, I going as a dictator.
A girl sat sobbing in the police station.
- I was raped by an Italian - she wailed.
- How do you know it was an Italian? - the detective asked.
- I had to help him - the girl replied.
