Random joke from this category
One of my first evenings back from overseas, my girl's understanding parents left us alone in the living room. Naturally, we did not talk all the time. In the midst of a kiss, I noticed her little sister in her nightgown watching us from the doorway.
- If you will be a good girl and go to bed, I will give you a quarter - I said to her.
Without taking the bribe or saying a word, she ran off but soon was back again.
- Here is a dollar - she said.
- I wanna watch.
Old Chinese proverb: Rape impossible!
Woman with skirt up run faster than man with trousers down!
What's the difference between Bill Clinton and the Titanic??
→ It is known how many went down on the Titanic.
A flat-chested young lady goes to Dr. Smith for advice about breast enlargements.
He tells her:
- Every day when you get out of the shower, rub the top of your breasts and say, 'Scooby dooby doobies, I want bigger boobies.'
She did this every day faithfully and after several months, it worked! She grew great boobs!
One morning she was running late and she was on the bus when she realized she had forgotten her morning ritual.
At this point she loved her new boobs and didn't want to lose them, so she got up right in the middle of the bus and said:
- Scooby dooby doobies, I want bigger boobies!
A guy sitting nearby asked her:
- Do you go to Dr. Smith by any chance?
- Why, yes, I do. How did you know?
- Hickory dickory dock!
Brunette after sex:
- Oh that was great! Love you... wanna marry?
Blonde after sex:
- Next!
Redhead after sex:
- Better start chewing some VITAMINS, kid.
Why wasn't Jesus born in America?
→ They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.
All of a sudden, the wife smacks her husband. The husband was totally dumfounded and asks:
- What was that for?
Wife said:
- Because, you are a bad fuck.
Couple of minutes later, the husband smacks his wife. This time, the wife was confused and asked:
- And may I ask what's that about?
Husband said:
- Simple, because you know the difference.
Six stages of married life:
Here is this guy who really takes care of his body he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day. One morning, he looks into the mirror and admires his body. He notices that he is really sun tanned all over except one part and he decides to do something about it. He goes to the beach, completely undresses and buries himself in the sand except for the one part sticking out.
Two little old ladies are strolling along the beach and one looks down and says:
- There really is no justice in this world.
The other little old lady says:
- What do you mean?
The first little old lady says:
- Look at that.
- When I was 10 years old, I was afraid of it.
- When I was 20 years old, I was curious about it.
- When I was 30 years old, I enjoyed it.
- When I was 40 years old, I asked for it.
- When I was 50 years old, I paid for it.
- When I was 60 years old, I prayed for it.
- When I was 70 years old, I forgot about it.
- And now that I'm 80, the damned things are growing wild!!
What do you call foreplay in Alabama?
→ 'Hey sis, you awake?'
