Clean Jokes — most viewed jokes

How can you tell if a dinosaur is visiting your house?
→ His tricycle will be parked outside.

Why do bees buzz?
→ Because they can't whistle!

What kind of hair do oceans have?
→ Wavy!

What dog can tell the time?
→ A watch dog!

Why did the queen bee kick out all of the other bees?
→ Because they kept droning on and on!

Why don't dinosaurs take ballet lessons?
→ They outgrew their leotards.

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
→ A bad golfer goes, WHACK! "Damn." A bad skydiver goes, "Damn." WHACK!

What do you call skydiving lawyers?
→ Skeet.

Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
→ Because it scares the dog.

How do crazy people go through the forest?
→ They take the psycho path.

How do you get holy water?
→ Boil the hell out of it.

What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall?
→ "Dam!"

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
→ Polaroids.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
→ A stick.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
→ Nacho Cheese.

What do you call Santa's helpers?
→ Subordinate Clauses.

What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
→ Quatro sinko.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
→ Frostbite.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
→ A nervous wreck.

Where do you find a dog with no legs?
→ Right where you left him.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
→ Because they have big fingers

What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
→ Sanka.

Why does a pilgrim's pants always fall down?
→ Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat.

How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same?
→ Somebody's gonna lose a trailer.

What is the most faithful insect?
→ A flea, once they find someone they like they stick to them!

What has four wheels and flies?
→ A rubbish bin!

Two fathers and two sons went duck hunting.
Each shot a duck but they shot only three ducks in all. How come?
→ The hunters were a man, his son and his grandson.