Christmas Jokes — most viewed jokes

A football supporter's favourite Christmas song?
→ 'Yule never walk alone'

- Father Christmas: How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge?

- Gnome: Put a five pound note between his teeth and stick his head over the side of the sledge.

I wouldn't say Christmas gnomes are ugly, But if beauty's skin deep then they were was born inside out!

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas Party?
→ He had no body to go with!

Dear Father Christmas, this Christmas could you please send me a yellow door.
Yours, Sherlock Holmes

- Watson: So why do you want a yellow door Holmes?

- Lemon-entry my dear Watson.

What song do Father Christmas' gnomes sing to him when he comes home cold on Christmas night?
→ Freeze a jolly good fellow!

Why does Father Christmas go down chimneys?
→ Because they soot him!

If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?
→ A subordinate claus.

I remember when Father Christmas first passed his sleigh-driving test. He came skidding down in front of the toy factory. 'Have you passed?' I asked.
Father Christmas pointing proudly to the front of the sleigh. 'See for yourself!' he called proudly. 'No-el plates!'

What does Santa say when he is sick?
→ OH OH NO!