Christmas Jokes — most viewed jokes

What do you get hanging from Father Christmas' roof?
→ Tired arms!

'Father Christmas has two reindeer. He calls one Edward and the other one Edward! I bet you can't tell me why he does that!'
'Oh, yes I can.' the elf said.
'Because tow 'Eds are better than one, of course!'

Why couldn't the butterfly go to the Christmas ball?
→ It was a moth ball!

Why did your boyfriend return his Christmas tie?
→ He said it was too tight.

What bird has wings but cannot fly?
→ Roast turkey!

- Father Christmas: Excuse me, but did I step on your toes on my way out to get an ice-cream?

- Lady: You certainly did!

- Father Christmas: Oh good! That means I'm back in the right row!

- Doctor, Doctor, with all the excitement of Christmas I can't sleep.

- Try lying on the edge of your bed...you'll soon drop off!

It was Christmas eve, and Santa was really busy making his list and checking it twice, when there came a knock at the door. His wife comes in. "Honey, where do you want me to put your boots and gloves?" Well, Santa is very busy and so he's slightly annoyed by this trivial question, so he snaps at her, "Put them by the front door, and stop bothering me. I'm trying to get some work done."

He starts back to work, but a few minutes later an elf barges in.
"Santa, we got all the toys wrapped, what should we do with them?" Santa snaps, "Stick 'em in the sleigh! Can't you see I'm trying to get ready? I don't want any more interruptions!"

But sure enough, as soon as he starts back to work, there is another interruption. An angel, standing at the door, says, "Santa, I have your Christmas tree. Where would you like me to put it?"

And this is where we get the tradition of placing an angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Who delievers cat's Christmas presents?
→ Santa Paws!

'Father Christmas has two reindeer. He calls one Edward and the other one Edward! I bet you can't tell me why he does that!'
'Oh, yes I can.' the elf said.
'Because tow 'Eds are better than one, of course!'