Celebrities — most viewed jokes

What happened when Bill Clinton got a shot of testosterone?
→ He turned into Hillary!

Why did Bill go out to sea on an aircraft carrier?
→ To promote off-shore drilling.

Did you hear Chrysler is introducing a new car to commemorate President Clinton's election?
→ It's gonna be called the Dodge Drafter!

- President Clinton to maid: Mam, can you do something about Hillary's room. She complains that it's the ugliest room in the White House.

- Maid: Yes, Mr. President--I'll remove the mirrors right away.

Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy".

One little boy stands up and offers "If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy."

"No," Clinton says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."

A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved... that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explains Clinton. "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS."

The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer.

"What?" asks Clinton, "Isn't there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says:
"If an airplane carrying Bill & Hillary Clinton were blown up by a bomb, THAT would be tragedy."

"Wonderful!" Clinton beams. "Marvelous!
And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says the boy, "because it couldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!"

What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter?
→ It took Bill less than 100 days to botch a military mission.

How many Clinton administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Two--one to screw the bulb into the water faucet while the other tells us that everything possible is being done to help the situation.

Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year?
→ Because they're sending their turkey to the White House!

What will Bill's favorite retail outlet be after his economic blueprint takes effect?
→ Everything's $100.

If Ted Kennedy, Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton all had a spelling contest, which one would win?
→ Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that harass is one word.