Blonde Jokes — most viewed jokes

One morning this blonde calls her friend and says, "Would you mind coming over and helping me out with this killer jigsaw puzzle I bought -- I can't figure out how to get started."

Her friend asks, "What's the puzzle of?"

"From the picture on the box, I'd guess it's a tiger," replied the blonde.

The friend obliges, and when he arrives the blonde greets him at the front door and then shows him the puzzle spread out all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box. Then, he turns to her and says, "I'm afraid that no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of the tiger on the box."

"Why not?" asks the disappointed blonde.

"Because, you didn't buy a jigsaw puzzle... what you have here is a box of Frosted Flakes."

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
→ Pregnant!

Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
→ So she can have a doggie bag for later.

A blonde walks into a hair salon to get her hair cut wearing headphones. The stylist asks her to take off her headphones but the blonde refuses. So the stylist takes them off and the blonde collapses to the ground and dies. The stylist picks up the headphones and hears, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

What nickname did the police give to the new blonde woman police officer?
→ A fair cop.

A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?"

The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It'll take you right there." She thanked the officer and he drives off.

Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop. The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus. That was three hours ago. Why are you still waiting?"

The blonde replied, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 45th bus just went by!"

Three blondes are sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is sucking hers, one is biting hers, one is licking hers. Which one is married?
→ The one with the wedding ring, YOU SICK-O!

What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?
→ They both have black roots.

Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
→ Cause their balls show!

How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves?
→ She fell out of the tree.