Blonde Jokes — most viewed jokes

One day, a blonde and her friend were walking through the park. Suddenly, the blonde's friend said, "Oh, look, a dead birdie!"
The blonde looked up and said, "Where?"

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown?
→ Artificial intelligence.

A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.

When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.

After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.

The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."

The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.

Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said, "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

What do you call a smart blond?
→ A golden retriever!

Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
→ So she can have a doggie bag for later.

Day 1: A blonde comes home from school and says to her mum, "We learned how to count up to 5 today mummy. I got up to 10. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?"
Mum replies: "yes dear"

Day 2: "We learned how to do the alphabet today mummy. The others only got up to E and I got up to S. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?"
Mum replies: "yes dear"

Day 3: "We learned about breasts today mummy. All the other girls are flat chested and I'm a 36DD. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?"
Mum replies: "No dear, it's because your 25."

Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
→ In case she locks the keys in her car.

"Hello?" the blonde responded answering the phone. Hearing no response, she repeated, "Hello?"

"I'll bet you want me to come over and take you into the bedroom, undress you, lick you from head to toe, and then make mad passionate love to you until dawn." the male voice whispered.

"Scheesch! You're good." she replied. "You mean you can tell all that from two hello's?"

A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock. The blonde replied, "What for? Are you going to set it on fire!"

Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
→ Because she loved children.