Blonde Jokes — most viewed jokes

In a fancy Paris restaurant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror. But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth -- if you lie, you disappear. One day, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter the restaurant and decide to try out the mirror.

The brunette goes first.

"I think I'm the smartest woman on earth."

"POOF!" She disappears. The redhead goes up to try.

"I think I'm the prettiest woman on earth."

"POOF!" She disappears. The blonde goes up.

"I think--"

"POOF!"

What did the blonde do when her doctor told her she had sugar in her urine?
→ She peed on her corn flakes.

This executive was interviewing a nervous young blonde women for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

The blonde quickly responded, "The living one."

- Blonde #1: Have you ever read Shakespeare?

- Blonde #2: No, who wrote it?

This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend, "Is it true that if you pull your finger out, I'll sink?"

Why do blondes like tilt steering?
→ More head room.

A blonde, brunette and a redhead had a breaststroke swimming race across the English Channel. The brunette came in first, the redhead came in second and the blonde never finished.

When the blonde got in the lifeboat she said, "I don't want to be a tattletale or anything, but the other two used their arms."

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a police officer walked in the store.

The three women decide to hide in three potato sacks.

The cop kicks the first bag, and the brunette says, "meow", the cop says, "oh, its only a cat"

He kicks the second bag, and the redhead says, "woof, woof". The cop says, "its only a dog".

He kicks the third bag, and the blonde says, "potato"

Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins?
→ She couldn't figure out who the other mother was.

One day there was a blonde riding a horse. The horse kept going faster and faster until the blonde fell off, with her foot getting stuck in the stirrup. Hearing her screams for help, finally a Wal-Mart clerk came over and turned off the merry-go-round.