Blonde Jokes — most viewed jokes

What did the blonde say when the docter told her one leg was bigger than the other?
→ Like, Not even!

How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
→ 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.
→ Three. . . one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.
→ Two. . . one to make batter and one to peel the M&Ms.

How do you make a blonde laugh on a Wednesday?
→ Tell her a joke on a Monday!

What's a blonde's favorite wine?
→ "Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami!"

Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
→ Because it kept falling out.

How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?
→ A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.

A young woman said to her doctor:

- You have to help me, I hurt all over!

What do you mean? - said the doctor.

The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled:

- Ow, that hurts.

Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled:

- Ouch! That hurts, too.

Then she touched her right earlobe. "Ow, even THAT hurts!"

The doctor asked the woman:

- Are you a natural blonde?

Why yes, - she said.

I thought so, - said the doctor.

- You have a sprained finger.

There were three female explorers who decided that they would go explore the African jungle together. One blonde, one brunnette and one redhead. They were near the middle of the jungle when a rare african tribe surrounded them. The tribe said that the gods have sent them evil things and the explorers shall be destroyed. The tribe was going to shoot them with a bow and arrow in the head one at a time.

First they were going to shoot at the brunnette. She stepped up and they called 1-2-3 but before they could shoot she yelled TORNADO and everyone ducked and lay down on the ground and the brunnette ran way while they ducked. The tribe got mad and swore but did not go after her.

Then the redhead stepped up and they aimed and yelled 1-2-3.. but before they could shoot she screeched FLOOD and everyone jumped and climbed up the nearest tree. The redhead took advantage and ran away. They got really mad and swore but did not go after her. They didn't like people yelling fake incidents.

Then the blonde stepped up and she thought that yelling a mother nature disaster was a good idea. They yelled 1-2-3 and the blonde yelled FIRE!

One day a blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters. She took pity on these creatures and hid them in her purse. Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free.

What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
→ A dope ring.