Blonde Jokes — most viewed jokes

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a deserted island together. The island is 20 miles from the nearest inhabited island so they all decide to try to swim there. The redhead makes it 10 miles, is exhausted, gives up, and drowns. The brunette makes it 15 miles before she's too tired to go any farther and drowns. The blonde gets 19 miles away from the deserted island, decides she's too tired to go any farther, and swims all the way back to the deserted island.

A blonde meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic.

- Everything ok with your car now?

- Yes, thank goodness - the blonde replies.

- Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?

- Yeah, but he didn't. I was SO RELIEVED when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!

How can you tell if a blonde has been using a computer?
→ The joystick is wet and theres white out on the screen!

A blonde and brunette were walking down the road.

The brunette see's her husband, and he is carrying flowers.

The brunette says to the blonde:

- now I'm going to half to spread my legs! - and the blonde says:

- why? don't you have a vase?

What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?
→ The 1984 Hide and Seek World Champion.

What is 68 to a blonde?
→ Where she goes down on you and you owe her one.

What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
→ A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.

Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.

The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said:

- I think they could be bird tracks.

The second blonde went to look and said:

- No, I think these are deer tracks.

They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!

Three blondes were walking through the woods when they came upon a set of tracks.

- Looks like deer tracks - said one blonde.

- No, it looks like maybe a cow track - another blonde suggested.

- Actually, I think they are just dog tracks - the third blonde offered.

They were still arguing when the train hit them!

How do you confuse a blonde?
→ Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.