Blonde Jokes — most viewed jokes

Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
→ More leg room.

What goes "errr, ohhh, errr, ohhh, errr, ohhh"?
→ A blonde at a blinking red light!

A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting:

- BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO.....

She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the cock-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts:

- Be silent!

There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting:

- OEING! OEING! OEING! OE....

What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagen?
→ Far-from-thinkin

The Rabbi rose with a red face...

- Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the K.K.K. This is a horrible lie and one which a Jewish community cannot tolerate! I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and our Jewish community.

No one moved.

The Rabbi continued:

- Do you not have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel relief. Now stand and confess your transgression!

Again all was quiet. Slowly a "drop dead" gorgeous blonde with a body that would not stop rose in the third pew. Her head was bowed, and her voice quivered as she spoke:

- Rabbi, there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Klu Klux Klan... I just told a couple of friends that you were a wizard under the sheets.

A man comes home from work one night to catch his blonde girlfriend sliding down the banister naked. He blurts out, "What do you think you're doing?" "Just heating up dinner" she replies.

A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her:

- go do something to prove them wrong! Why don't you learn all the state capitals or something?

The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying.

The next party she goes to, some guy is making dumb blonde comments to her. She gets all indignant and claims:

- I'm NOT a dumb blonde. In fact, I can name ALL the state capitals!

The guy doesn't believe her, so she dares him to test her.

He says:

- Okay, what's the Capital of Montana?

The blonde tosses her hair in triumph and says:

- That's easy! It's M!

How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?
→ By the lipstick on your cucumbers.

Did you hear about the blonde who...

- had more on her body than on her mind?

- was called "Sanka" because she had no active ingredient in the bean?

- took an hour to cook Minute Rice?

- got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up?

- was an M.D. - Mentally Deficient?

- had a terrific stairway, but nothing upstairs?

- thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates?

- was told she was a silly puss, but insisted she didn't have a crazy cat?

- after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?

- went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker?

- brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?

Did you hear about the blonde who was a really good cook?
→ She could get pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece!