Blonde Jokes — most viewed jokes

What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
→ Her ankles.

A blonde walks into an electronics store and points to something behind the clerk.

- How much is that television set? - she asks.

- Sorry, we don't sell to blondes - the clerk said.

So, the girl walks out. The next day, she returns wearing a brown wig. She again approaches the clerk and asks:

- How much is that television set behind you?

The clerk replies:

- Sorry, we don't sell to blondes.

Again, the girl walks out.

She again tries the next day, this time wearing a red wig. She goes up to the clerk and asks:

- How much is that television set behind you?

The clerk again replies:

- We don't sell to blondes!

Well, the girl was kind of suspicious.

She asks carefully:

- How do you know I'm a blond?

The clerk looks at the girl and says...

- Because that's not a television, it's a microwave!

A policeman pulled a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.

- Cop: Do you know where you were going?

- Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad, cause all the people were leaving!

What's a brunette's mating call?
→ Has that blonde gone yet?
→ When is that blonde bitch going to leave!?
→ "All the blondes have gone home!"

What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
→ A Space Invader.

Two blondes rented a fishing boat, and were having a great day catching fish.

The first blonde said:

- This is such a great spot, we need to mark it so we can come back.

The second blonde proceeded to put a mark on the side of the boat.

The first blonde asked:

- What are you doing?

The second blonde replied:

- Marking the spot.

- Don't be stupid - the first blonde said.

- What if we don't get the same boat next time?

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
→ Frosted Flakes.

This guy is just starting off his career as a ventriliquist and he's going around town looking for a job. He finds one at a local nightclub.

So, on his first night, he's going through his normal routine of blonde jokes. All of a sudden, this blonde stands up in the fourth row and says:

- Excuse me, mister, but no physical attribute of mine affects my mental capability!

The guy is flabbergasted. He stands up and tries to apologize, but is cut off when she says:

- You stay out of this, mister. I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to that jerk on your knee!

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing.
He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her.
She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.

- You can't get out of your room? - the captain asked - Why not?

The stewardess replied:

- There are only three doors in here - she cried - one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!

Why did the blonde guy put ice in his condom?
→ To keep the swelling down.