Random joke from this category
There's a brunette standing in the middle of a street jumping up and down, counting "57, 57, 57." A blonde walks up to her and decides that this game could be fun. She asks the brunette if she can play too and the brunette says, "Sure." So the two jump up and down counting "57, 57, 57." Suddenly, the brunette jumps onto the curb and the blonde gets hit by a truck. The brunette goes back into the street and starts jumping again, counting "58, 58, 58."
Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
→ It takes too long to retrain them.
Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and come home?
→ It took her that long to discover that a 14-inch Viking was a television.
One day while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car. The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggled and replied:
- When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!
Why don't blondes eat Jello?
→ They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies:
- I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica.
The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats:
- I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica.
The head stewardesses doesn't even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot.
The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies:
- I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica.
A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it.
One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her:
- There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal.
- That doesn't matter - replied the blonde.
- if I only can sell the car.
- Okay - said the brunette.
- Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter on your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore.
The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde:
- Did you sell your car?
- No - replied the blonde.
- why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!
Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?
→ Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.
Another blonde, another store...
She goes over to the deodorant display and tells the clerk:
- I need to buy some deodorant for my husband.
- Does he use the ball kind? - inquired the clerk.
- No - replied the blonde:
- The kind for under his arms.
Where do you see blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, blonde...
→ A naked blonde doing cartwheels!
