Blonde Jokes — most viewed jokes

What did the blonde's mom say to her before the blonde's date?
→ If you're not in bed by 12, come home.

How does a blonde prepare for safe sex?
→ She puts on rubber based lipstick.

Why did the blonde only smell good on the right side?
→ She didn't know where to buy Left Guard!

How do you know a blonde has been using a dishwasher?
→ It's cloged up with paper plates.

One day 3 women went to the top of a water flume in a swimming pool. There was a black haired, brown haired, and a blonde haired woman.

When they got to the top a genie appeared from nowhere and said "when your going down the flume shout out the on thing that you want and you will land in it at the bottom."

So the black haired woman went down and shouted "money" and landed in a load of cash, the brown haired woman went down and shouted "gorgous men!" and landed in a pile of men.

The blonde woman wasnt listening to the genie so she went down shouting weeeeeee.

What is the definition of gross ignorance?
→ 144 blondes.

Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
→ You can park in the handicap zone.

There was this blonde girl who had gotten fed up with blonde jokes, so she decided to dye her hair black.

So she did, and she was sooooo happy with it that she went to her car and drove around just to show off her new look. She was coming up to this intersection when she saw a shepeherd by the road waiting to cross with his flock of lambs. The girl stopped and waved him to pass.

While the flock was crossing the road, she asked the shepherd - "If I can guess how many sheep you got there, would you give me one?"

He thought about the offer for a minute and decided it was ok. The girl looked at the flock and exclaimed "487". The shepherd said "WOW! That's right...well...take any sheep you like...a deal's a deal." So she gets the animal and happily puts him in the back of her car, when the shepehrd says "WAIT!

Now I have a deal for you.... if I guess the real color of your hair can I have my dog back?"

Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
→ To cover up the valve stem.

A blonde buys a plane ticket to Miami. (It's a coach Ticket). When she gets on the plane she sits in first class.

The steward who checks tickets says, "I'm so sorry, this is a coach ticket and your sitting in 1st class."

"I can do What-eva I want, I'm a blonde." Well I'll get the pilot.

The pilot comes and whispers in the blondes ear and she leaves. The steward looks amazed and says, "What did you say?"

The pilot simply says, "I told her 1st class wasn't going to Miami, just coach was!!!"