Blonde Jokes — most viewed jokes

Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
→ So she could lip read.

How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
→ By the buckle print on her forehead.

Why can't blondes water-ski?
→ When they get their crotch wet they think they have to lay down.

How do you know a blonde has been using the computer?
→ There is cheese in front of the mouse.

What do a turtle and a blonde have in common?
→ When they're on their back their both fucked!

Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
→ To see what was on the other side.

A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, "It's not a ship." The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "It's not a boat." The speck gets even closer and he thinks, "It's not a raft." Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and says, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"

"Ten years!" he says.

She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes.

He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag, and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!"

Then she asked, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of whiskey?"

He replies, "Ten years!"

She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and gives it to him.

He takes a long swig and says, "Wow, that's fantastic!"

Then she starts unzipping a longer zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you've had some real fun?"

And the man replies, "Wow! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there!"

Where do you look for blonde's obituaries?
→ Under "Home Improvements."

How many blonde jokes are there?
→ One - the rest are all true.

Why should you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week?
→ So you don't have to retrain them every Monday.