Random joke from this category
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told:
- You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.
The frog says:
- This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?
- No - says the psychic.
- Next semester in her biology class.
What's yellow, wiggles and is dangerous?
→ A maggot with attitude!
What kind of bull doesn't have horns?
→ A bullfrog!
A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked:
- Where did you get that?
The pig replied:
- I won her in a raffle!
What came first, the chicken or the egg?
→ I'd have to say it was the rooster!
A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was stuck again. The neighbor suggested she notch the ear off one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart. The neighbor suggested she measure the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black.
An old bloke in the Northern Territory was showing some tourists how to top up a camel with water.
- That way, - he said.
- You get an extra day out of them between drinks.
As the camel bent down to drink, the bloke picked up two bricks and bashed them over the camel's balls.
The camel sucked in its breath and took on three days' extra water.
- Doesn't that hurt? - asked a tourist.
- Nah, - replied the bloke.
- Only if you get your fingers caught!
Two guys are on duty at a french foreign legion fort. One says to the other one:
- See that camel over there? I'll bet you I can make him jump 30 feet in the air.
The other guy says:
- No way.
The first guy walks around to the back of the camel with two bricks, reaches in between the camel's legs and crashes the bricks together. The camel jumps 30 feet in the air.
A couple of days later the first guy says to the second guy:
- I bet you I can make that camel nod his head yes, then shake his head no.
The second guy says:
- You got me last time, but there's no way you can make that dumb animal nod his head yes then shake it no.
The first guy takes the same two bricks, walks around to the front of the camel, holds up the bricks and says:
- Remember what I did last time? (Camel nods).
- Want me to do it again?
Which fly makes films?
→ Stephen Speilbug!
Two storks on a nest, a father stork and baby stork. Baby is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him.
- Don't worry Son, your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy.
The next night, it's father's turn to do the job.
- Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies.
A few days later, the stork parents are desperate, their son is gone from the nest all night. Finally, shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask their son where he had been all night.
Says the baby stork:
- Awww, just scaring the shit out of college kids!
